how long does it takes to figure out this??

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i was going thru my CDs last friday to sort out which stuff in past that will stay past and which will i carry together to face the days ahead..i think it is funny when all this while i keep wondering why a person is capable of loving sumthing and then the love is not there anymore-completely..not even the name can trigger a slightest jolt in heart..i mean..is that even possible????

well it is possible..! lol

i've been thru a relationship that made me sad thinking how silly i am staying sad!

and i've been thru a relationship that made me laugh thinking how silly i am being who i am at that time..;p

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so..

how long does it takes to know your partner

to figure out that..okey..i can live with this person for next 100 years..

it always came across my mind how some people have a relationship for 10 years and suddenly they flip their heart and change their interest..all of sudden mata sepet is not pretty..and bimbo-blue eyes belongs to an angel..all of sudden ikan patin masak tempoyak is smelly and Tony Roma is delicious since forever..

but 'feelings' is like a vapour out in atmosphere..no one can exactly tells where it should go or what shape it should be..of coz feelings is like an art..it bends and form without a specific rules..

after a few arguments i started to doubt..started to cry before i sleep thinking that how can i face my 100 years ahead feeling hurt and sad like this..

sometime there's a tiny voice inside saying..it's enough..but i'm not brave enough to push myself off the cliff..i started questioning myself what if i made silly decision that i will regret later..what if at the end i didnt meet a person that treat me as good as u did..it has been 4 years learning about each other...and yet so many things we can argue about..

and the question repeat itself again and again..

can i live with this person for 100 years..?

as i lay in my bed thinking bout it..

finally it came to me that..

i dont know whether we can tolerate 100 years together

but for sure..i cant have a tomorrow without you..

*ps: i love you

MY MILKY TOOF

currently sangat takde mood..

jabbawokeez in ANTM lifted my mood a bit this morning but that doesn't help much..

heh..blog ini sangat comel : my milky toof

can i ever be this creative

.dot.

the 6th Eid far from home
but I thank Allah swt for the 6th chance
to celebrate it with my beloved friends here

6Eids i will miss
i know for sure

thanx esp:

.zen.qis.gie.rose.shikin.sarah.mun.
.wawa.raz.we miss.
&
.adilahalim.
.diyana.mastura.mimi.
.aina.she.hanisah.ecah.
.hani.nuki.nana&alok.
.myusrah:sakeenah.fana.kakmashi.achot.
.myclass:sally,kartik,rayman,sanjay,aimul.
and
other fellowfriends@CSMU
for great 6years here

pre-bye bye

malas nak balik..

nak cuti lagi..
tsk~
i will miss everything here..

kejap rasa..cepat lah grad

but i fear the challenge ahead..
cuak gak bile pikir da final year..
and i dont think i'm prepared enuff
to face the real world
the real job
THE JOB..
-end-

Ramadhan,Rembau dan Mat Top

i spend my first day of Ramadhan @ Rembau..the place i want to be the most when it comes to Ramadhan and Eid celebration ;)

atuk sangat excited pagi2 maka tiba-tiba beliau dapat ilham pergi carik buluh sebab nak masak lemang..hihi..atuk semangat bila anak cucu nak pulang..*comel* sampai mak long yang 50-50 nak balik sabtu ke ahad terpakse decide sabtu lepas mak su cakap..kalau balik ahad..means dapat tengok bekas buluh yang bakar semalam dan bara yang dah jadi abu saja la ye~

semua ada..macam raya!!

tapi this weekends i also learn more about adult world..the world that i saw perfect from my premature eyes before..

marriage and betrayal..
i askd my aunty..
"kenape walaupun orang tu kawin suka-sama-suka..ade jugak yang lepas tu betray and jatuh cinta dengan orang lain???"
"kenape bile bercinta dengan orang lain..isteri & anak-anak tak lagi jadi penenang hati?"

it's fated she said..
itu ujian yang kena terima dan tempuh dengan tenang..

really? it's sad..
looking at the eyes of the one whom have been betrayed..
the eyes of their child..unable to understand..

i have tasted the bitterness of betrayal..and it is bitter..
its dark and painful..and torturing..
ripping the heart again and again..endlessly..
i have never cried so long..so hard..

but later how i learned that the bitterness i tasted..
it's nothing compared to the real world...

-end-

makteh kata ini adalah jebak..used to catch birds by putting
a bird inside it..and birdie will sing..inviting other birds to come near by
dan lalu mereke semua 'terjebak' ~
kisah benar ok!this birdie is Mat Top ;)

kitties kat umah pakcik Hakim in cage sbb takmau
kasi kacau umah uwan time masak2ini anak Mochel yg baru ;)

Save Now

hanif-uwan-atuk-faiz-bayang

ps:i looked at the sky and i found the star i missed..once in my heart it shine and burns for me..the warmth and happiness once felt..comes again..star is still the same..time haven't changed anything..like watching a good old movie..watch it thousand times..the amusement remains..;)