how long does it takes to figure out this??

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i was going thru my CDs last friday to sort out which stuff in past that will stay past and which will i carry together to face the days ahead..i think it is funny when all this while i keep wondering why a person is capable of loving sumthing and then the love is not there anymore-completely..not even the name can trigger a slightest jolt in heart..i mean..is that even possible????

well it is possible..! lol

i've been thru a relationship that made me sad thinking how silly i am staying sad!

and i've been thru a relationship that made me laugh thinking how silly i am being who i am at that time..;p

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so..

how long does it takes to know your partner

to figure out that..okey..i can live with this person for next 100 years..

it always came across my mind how some people have a relationship for 10 years and suddenly they flip their heart and change their interest..all of sudden mata sepet is not pretty..and bimbo-blue eyes belongs to an angel..all of sudden ikan patin masak tempoyak is smelly and Tony Roma is delicious since forever..

but 'feelings' is like a vapour out in atmosphere..no one can exactly tells where it should go or what shape it should be..of coz feelings is like an art..it bends and form without a specific rules..

after a few arguments i started to doubt..started to cry before i sleep thinking that how can i face my 100 years ahead feeling hurt and sad like this..

sometime there's a tiny voice inside saying..it's enough..but i'm not brave enough to push myself off the cliff..i started questioning myself what if i made silly decision that i will regret later..what if at the end i didnt meet a person that treat me as good as u did..it has been 4 years learning about each other...and yet so many things we can argue about..

and the question repeat itself again and again..

can i live with this person for 100 years..?

as i lay in my bed thinking bout it..

finally it came to me that..

i dont know whether we can tolerate 100 years together

but for sure..i cant have a tomorrow without you..

*ps: i love you