Now or Never

yesterday i watched Grey's during dinner time..
Here's to the Future & Now or Never..
tetibe rase sedihh sgt..
esp. episode Now or Never tu..
where at the end..its either George or Izzy died..that episode ends with the suspense

''who will be eliminated tonite''-Tyra Bank..btw..i wish Allison menang aritu..she's cute..~ tsk..i knoe Teyona shud win..cuz she's more like a runaway-highfashion model..but i adoreee Allison..~

....
ok kembali..
mase resuscitation Izzy..Alex cam sangat2 scared and he cried..like crieeeddddd bersungguh-sungguh..
and while George in another op.room crashing too..and scene at the end..they made it like..Izzy naik lift with her dress and the door closed..and later it opens and she saw George infront of her..
it's like those scene where a person who's going to die meet other dead poeple or another person who's dying at the same time with him..
bleehhh..u know wut i mean..

but it ends with quote by Meredith..yg sangat touching..
''Did you say it?
'I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life.'
Did you say it?
Make a plan.
Set a goal.
Work towards it, but every now and then, look around;
Drink it in 'cause this is it.
It might all be gone tomorrow."

...it is sumthing to me..
cuz i am not an expressive person towards my family before..
its like a big-fat-ego to say u love them..

but after a few fall in life..
i learn to say..
bye mama..i love u and i miss u..

i learn from my lil sister..when i heard she said to my mom and dad..i love u..
i think mama and abah tought her to say those words to parents and family..-only..:p
and at that time i realize how easy for us..maybe not easy at the beginning lah..to say i love u to others..how expressive we were when it comes to boyfriend-girlfriend thing..
we call every night..
we text every hours..
we spend on topup and presents with our eyes closed..takpelah..investment untuk future la katekan
but we dont do that with family..well..rarely..or sometimes lah..
some yes la kan..memang ade org buat sume tu..
but i'm the closest example la untuk this cacated situation

anyway..
untuk sedap hati..
i used this theory..
nape i tak kol parents hari2..text constantly..bab spending to i dont mind actually untuk both family and boyfie..

1) abah akan pening kalu asek2 nak balas my sms je tanye da makan,minum,tadi buat ape,sebelum tu buat ape,esok nak buat ape..
2) kalau sms tak dibalas..nak merajuk..tapi cam pelik la kan satu keje abah nak pujuk selalu..ofcoz la die sibuk di pejabat!
3)maybe sebab kite yakin..kasih mereke takkan pudar ditelan mase..walau da lame tak cakap or sms..we know that..they will always always always love us..it's not like they can cheat on us kan..

sedey gile kalu lame sgt tak text makbapak skali balik tgk derang ade anak angkat feveret baru..tsk..baru kelamkabut nak tepon ari2 mcm obses..hamek~

so..boleh dikatakan..i'm happy that i found my way to be expressive to them..kalu ade org cakap..helow..dengan boyfreni ilefyu bagai..ngan makpak ade ke gitu..? i can proudly say..heloww tu yu tu..of coz YESSS!

:D

hehe..

i love u